by Matt Moore –
The grace of God is so much stronger than any sin that may have a hold on you. I am living, walking proof of that. He will pour His mercy and grace on those who truly surrender to Him, and repent of their sins.
It is extremely difficult for me to talk about this, but I have decided to let Jesus be glorified in my weakness, and to let Him use my past and my experience to further His Kingdom by communicating the amazing and saving truth of His Word.
This note is not geared towards non-Christians. It is geared towards those of us who are professing believers of Jesus Christ and who believe in the God of the Bible. But I hope that even if you are not a Christian that you will read this with an open mind and evaluate your own beliefs and do your own research on Christianity and the Bible.
Our faith is NOT a blind faith. There is plenty of evidence, and I encourage you to seek it.
Our faith is NOT a blind faith.
First off, I want to make clear that I am not writing this with the intent of condemning anyone. I genuinely care about the issue of homosexuality and the people who live the gay lifestyle. If I didn’t care I would not be saying anything. Everything in me wants to stay silent about this. I want to fit in with the Christian community, and have avoided speaking out about homosexuality because I don’t want that stigma attached to me when people look at me or think of me. But I’ve realized I can’t do something so incredibly selfish. I lived a gay lifestyle, and God poured out His grace on me to show me the truth, and I am obligated to share that truth with others.
Chances are, you know someone who is gay. Or maybe you are yourself. My entire life, up until September of 2010 when I was saved, I lived under the impression that I was born gay. I hid it for years, not “coming out” until I was 20, in August of 2009.
homosexuality is not an “identity” or an “orientation”, it is a sin stemming from lust
The culture in America has taken homosexuality and made it as natural as being born left handed, and that’s what I grew to think also. I thought that I was genetically designed to be gay, and that’s how I was going to live my life. I wasn’t going to deny who I really was anymore; I was going to embrace it and enjoy my life. For over a year I lived an openly gay lifestyle. Everyone knew, my friends, parents, family. And I’ll have to tell you that with the exception of my dad telling me it was wrong, I was completely supported by everyone and my lifestyle was condoned. I had never felt more accepted in my life, and had never had so much fun or been so happy. I was enjoying my life of going out and getting drunk and embracing my “gay identity”.
This past September, Jesus Christ intervened in my life. Nothing bad happened (there was no rock bottom for me). It’s just like one day I was awakened, I wasn’t even sure what it was. I had never identified myself as “Christian”. I didn’t deny God, I just honestly never thought about Him. I was so caught up in myself and my life that it never crossed my mind, at all. God, Jesus, Christianity, the Bible were all completely foreign thoughts to me.
I wasn’t going to take anyone’s word about the issue … I was just going to let God show me. And He did.
But one day about 6 months ago I felt something inside of me wake up. I decided to seek God and see what this was. I told God, and my Christian friends, that I didn’t know if being gay was right or wrong, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me from seeking God anymore. I wasn’t going to take anyone’s word about the issue (I’m stubborn like that), I was just going to let God show me. And He did.
I started coming across verses like: (this is just one of many verses pertaining to homosexuality)
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 “….Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral nor idolators nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the Kingdom of God”
And then I came across the very next verse:
1 Corinthians 6:11 “And this is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God”
I started to see that even 2,000 years ago there were homosexuals, like me, who were made clean. It was then that God started to open my eyes to the truth about being gay. Homosexuality is no greater than any other sin — like adultery, fornication, etc. I asked God to let me look at this through His eyes and not my own.
Culture has made homosexuality “natural”. Because it feels natural. (”There is a way that seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.” – Proverbs 14:12) Well based on that logic, pedophiles would also just be “born that way” and there should be nothing wrong with that. Same thing with adultery. Honestly, it’s just a matter of time before our culture decides that pedophilia and adultery are just as “natural” as homosexuality and should not be looked down upon, and that they should be accepted as a functioning part of society.
I then knew that homosexuality is not an “identity” or an “orientation”, it is a sin stemming from lust. It sounds like I’m downplaying the struggle people have with homosexuality, but I assure you I am not. That is just the simple truth of it.
Christ is willing to forgive anyone for anything, but it’s up to you to acknowledge that you are wrong, and to surrender to Him.
The world has made being gay as identifying and unchangeable as the color of our skin or eyes. But it’s not. It’s sin. Sin that should be repented of just as any other sin. Sin that can be abolished and made clean by the blood of Jesus Christ.
When you say that you were “born this way”, you’re absolutely right [but not in how the world distorts it]. We are all born sinners into this world. That is why Jesus said that unless we be born again, we will never see the Kingdom of God. When we start looking at it for what it really is, we start seeing and accepting that fact that homosexuality is in fact something that can be repented (turn way from) of and forgiven for.
The common [false and distorted] argument presented by the gay community is “Well, in the Bible it says that a man lying with a man is an abomination, but that’s in Leviticus in the Old Testament. We don’t live by the Old Testament anymore, we live by the New Testament! We can live a gay lifestyle because Jesus came to free us from the bondage of the Old Testament”.
Jesus came to free us from the power of sin.
Number 1 – Jesus came to free us from the power of sin. Not the power of the Bible. His grace does not give us a license to sin, but the ability NOT to sin.
Number 2 – When people refer to the Old Testament, they are referring to the Mosaic Law. There are 3 parts to the Mosaic Law: Ceremonial, Civil, and Moral. Jesus Christ fulfilled the law in His life, death, and resurrection. We no longer have to continue to make sacrifices to cover our sins, because He presented Himself as a once and for all sacrifice for sin.
the Moral part of the Law reflects God’s character
But the Moral part of the Law reflects God’s character… God is unchangeable, therefore His morals do not change. The moral part of His Law still applies today. But that’s besides the point, because there is plenty of Scripture in the New Testament that says the same thing about homosexuality, it is SIN. My friends, you have to realize that GOD has not changed over time, people have changed.
Just because you feel a certain way or think a certain way does not mean you are right. God flooded the earth the first time because when He looked down He saw that all of the thoughts of man were wicked and continually evil (Genesis 6:5). That is what has been wrong with people from the beginning, was our thought life.
Without the grace and Spirit of God, we are completely messed up.
Without the grace and spirit of God, we are completely messed up, including our thoughts, our desires, our feelings, our actions. God’s solution to this was to give us better thoughts, HIS Word! Any thought (like “you’re an unchangeable homosexual”) will never end until you receive a new thought, a better thought, a Divine thought, from His Word!
I am not here to try to convince anyone, because no person can do that. I am only here to present the truth. I am not saying that you are changed from “gay to straight” overnight. That’s not even the point. Like any sin, if you struggle with homosexuality, it is likely some may struggle with it to some degree. Just like other people struggle with the temptation of any other sin. But I can tell you from my own personal experience, that when you genuinely seek God and His truth, homosexuality, or any other sin, will no longer have a hold on you. The thoughts seem to just disappear over time and they are fewer and further in between.
when you genuinely seek God and His truth, homosexuality, or any other sin, will no longer have a hold on you.
If you are a practicing homosexual, the truth is that you will not go to Heaven if you die before you ever truly repent of it. If we are truly saved and converted, we cannot continue on in a lifestyle of sin. Read 1 John. Someone can NOT be a gay Christian. Just like they can NOT be a thieving Christian, or a lying Christian, or a cheating Christian. That’s not my opinion, that’s God’s truth.
The day that you stand before God to receive your judgement, you are not going to look back on your life and care about the way that you “felt” and what you “thought” was right. You are only going to care about the TRUTH that could have saved your soul, and you will curse the person who you know knew the real truth, and never warned you. I cannot bear the guilt of having anyone’s blood on my hands. I know that I will be judged by people for speaking out about this, and probably persecuted for it. But my purpose is greater than myself. I can endure whatever is thrown at me if I can rest in the hope that at least one person who may be struggling with homosexuality comes to Christ. That is the only thing that matters. God, Your will be done, not mine.
Trust GOD. Trust HIS Word. He will SAVE your life!
There are more people that struggle with homosexuality than we know. There are those who secretly struggle with it and never speak out about it. I want to tell you, if that’s you, that you will never overcome this without talking about it with a trusted person and with God. And I offer myself as that person to anyone that may need to talk about it, and you have my word that it will never go beyond us.
I get extremely frustrated when people dumb down the Gospel of Jesus Christ. They remove parts that are hard to talk about, like sin and repentance, therefore it has no power. I am here to tell you all, that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is the power of Salvation unto anyone!
If God can forgive me, I assure you, He can forgive you. There is so much power in His Word, and in His Truth. … Please, please, don’t let your preconceived notions of the bible based on what you’ve heard keep you from opening it up. It is so much more than just a book, so much more.
The grace of God is so much stronger than any sin that may have a hold on you.
The grace of God is so much stronger than any sin that may have a hold on you. I am living and walking proof of that. He will pour out His mercy and grace on those who truly surrender to Him, and repent of their sins. If there’s any advice I could give you it’s this: Don’t trust your heart. Don’t trust your feelings and [worldly] thoughts. Don’t trust what other people say (parents, doctors, scientists, preachers). God said, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” – Proverbs 23:7.
Please, do not trust your own thoughts and hold onto a false hope of salvation. Christ is willing to forgive anyone for anything, but it’s up to you to acknowledge that you are wrong, and to surrender to Him.
Trust GOD. Trust HIS Word. He will SAVE your life!
It took tremendous courage to write this. May the Lord richly bless you for doing it. And may He continue to use your testimony to further His Kingdom on earth.
This is so en pointe. Please pray for me. I am a Christian who is struggling with homosexual desires. Most of the time its too overwhelming for me. I get depressed and I beat myself up to a pulp whenever I falter. Repentance is hard. It’s a roller coaster for me. You have no idea how many times I have deleted / re-installed Grindr. I might have a slight addictive personality… What Im really thankful about though is how much Jesus is always with me, chasing me… I’m just amazed at how He never gets tired of me.. I am never completely lost.. He is always pulling me back one way or another, just like right now.. Tears are forming in my eyes.. I am more hopeful of tomorrow..
Hi bryan. I was looking online for other guys that struggle with being gay too. I have never met anyone else that does. For me it’s a internal holy war. I know what the bible says about being gay. Im terrified of what could happen on judgment day for being gay. I realize that i will never be straight. That hasn’t stopped me from looking for some kind of cure for this. I had an idea one day that has actually helped with this. Zoloft. Its an anti depressant. The side effects are that it kills your sex drive. It wont make you like women but at least you wont have any gay urges. Fyi…..im taking 150 milligrams to get this result. I tried 50 milligrams years ago and it didn’t help so you might want to try this as an option.
Hi Bryan, I am exactly the same as you, I am a Christian and am gay, I have currently split with my girlfriend of 4 years, this is not my first gay relationship but I always find myself in this position when things end. I want to be saved and live a normal straight godly life. Just keep praying and asking God to deliver us. It’s a process, I find myself wanting results right now instead of having patience.
Bryan, Ray, and Amy,
Christ is Risen! May Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour, be with you always. Walk in the Lord and seek the illumination of the Holy Spirit on your journey to find salvation and acquire the joy and peace of Christ that surpasses all understanding.
Do not believe the lies of Satan. Do not accept the delusions and distortions of those who have forsaken the true God and abandoned the wisdom of Christ and the Scriptures. You are not “gay” or “homosexual.” You were not “born this way.” You are men and women created in the image and likeness of GOD! You were all designed by Him for everlasting life in His Kingdom. You struggle with carnal temptations and spiritual passions, like every single man and woman since the fall of Adam and Eve. In other words you are human.
Sin does not characterize you. Passions do not define you. Do not self-identify with any sin or any passion. You are not your sin. If you are a Christian and believe that Jesus Christ is Lord, the Son and Word of the living God, True God of True God, the Redeemer and Saviour of all mankind, then you must reject and abandon the “gay” or “homosexual” identity or label. “You are not your own; you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
You are a man or a woman made in the image and likeness of GOD. A creature that must continually cling to Christ and walk the narrow road that leads to salvation. A human being that can become divine and holy through God’s grace, Christ’s love, and the power of the Holy Spirit, through the intercession of the Saints, and help from prayers and the holy sacraments, worship and practices of the Holy Orthodox Church.
We are all imperfect. We are all sinners before the face of God. But in our imperfection and weaknesses, the love and grace of Christ and the uncreated Light of God are here to redeem us to transform us, to restore us, to bring us back to the Father’s house. We are never alone in this journey. God is with us. Christ is next to us. The Holy Spirit is within us. “God works together with each one of us so that, by suffering what we must on this earth, we may attain to life everlasting in the age to come,” wrote Fr. Thomas Hopko.
Fr. Philip LeMasters reminds us that “we all encounter Christ as people with a history of personal brokenness in thought, word, and deed. We may doubt, however, whether the Savior’s victory over death, the wages of sin, may truly become active in us. The Church highlights the example of so many notorious sinners who have become great saints by receiving the Lord’s mercy through repentance. Perhaps we have heard their stories so many times that we take them for granted and assume that, after their conversion, they were no longer troubled by temptations, doubts, and sorrow for their failings. That would be an unrealistic assumption, of course.
Remember that St. Mary of Egypt spent her first seventeen years in the desert in fierce struggle with passions for all that she had left behind. She said of this period, “Darkness after darkness, misery after misery stood about me, a sinner.” If we are genuinely embracing the new life our Risen Lord, we will face battles in our own souls as we turn away from the darkness of the tomb and toward the brilliant light of His kingdom.”
Fighting the passions and repenting of sin are lifelong requirements for all Christians, for all men. This is the cross all men carry in this fallen world. We must all continue this battle to our very last breath. Christ and all the Apostles, Fathers, Theologians, and Saints of the Church bear witness to this universal struggle.
Christ commands us to seek perfection. “You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect,” (Matthew 5:48). The Scriptures encourage us to be holy. “As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, be holy yourselves in all your conduct; since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” (1 Peter 1:14-16). None of us can achieve this fully, but it is our duty as Christians to make this our goal. We are all called to fight the good fight. We cannot give up. We must pick our cross and follow Christ. Our salvation and true humanity are at stake.
Do not despair. Do not surrender. Do not give up. If you fall, repent and stand up. Never lose hope. Stay on the road to salvation. Don’t look back. Abandon the old man. Trust Christ. Read the Scriptures. Pray. Seek salvation in the Church. Reject the lies. Forsake sin. Repent. Fight the passions. Strive for holiness. Live in Truth. Victory comes to those who endure and persevere, until the end.
Never forget that true happiness comes from our struggle and any victory over sin. “It is only by struggling with false, “plastic” happiness that you find true happiness. Indeed, what can make you happier than an earnest, though difficult, struggle with your sins? After all, you feel the help of Christ in this warfare, which means you are not alone, you are with God … we begin to have a foretaste the good eternity when we begin to struggle with our passions and reorder our priorities in spiritual and material life,” remind us Orthodox Christian professor Hannu Pöyhönen.
“All those who struggle with their passions, no matter how difficult it is for them, are truly happy,” proclaimed Abbot Aimilianos (Vafeidis), from Simonopetra Monastery on Mt. Athos, to Dr. Pöyhönen.
If you love Christ and believe in Him, then trust Him. The Lord will not abandon or forsake you. Have faith in Him. Follow Him. Do the work He commanded to be healed and saved, to have eternal life. Be renewed by the Holy Spirit and walk into the uncreated light that brings wisdom, joy, peace, and illumination to our hearts, minds and souls.
May God’s grace, Christ’s love and the blessing of the Holy Spirit continue to guide and help you towards healing and freedom from sin. There is great joy in Heaven over every sinner who repents (Luke 15:7), picks up the cross, and joins the ranks of those who follow Christ in the journey back to the Father’s house.
– Fr. Ioannes Apiarius
I also lived the homosexual lifestyle and it often left me empty.
It was the lust that made me feel lonely and ashamed of what my actions had become.
Only through Christ I was released from the bondage of sin.
I am married and have a family I’m greatful to my lord and savior Jesus Christ.