Agenda for the 2008 Democratic National Convention

FunnyBiz | Feb. 8, 2008

7:00 pm – Opening flag burning
7:15 pm – Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N. In Spanish
7:20 pm – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:25 pm – Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton
7:35 pm – Ceremonial tree hugging
7:40 pm – Americans Not Paying Enough Taxes – Warren Buffet
7:50 pm – Communism is Good for America – Barack Obama
7:55 pm – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

8:00 pm – How I Invented the Internet – Al Gore
8:15 pm – Gay Wedding – Barney Frank presiding
8:35 pm – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:40 pm – Our Troops are War Criminals – John Kerry
9.00 pm – Saddam Memorial Rally – Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon
11.00 pm – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:05 pm – Humongous Mansions, SUVs, and Private Jets Owned by Liberals Don’t Affect Global Warming – Barbara Streisand
11:15 pm – Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay – Sean Penn
11:30 pm – Oval Office Affairs – William Jefferson Clinton
11:45 pm – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:50 pm – How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers – Howard Dean & Rosie O’Donnell
12:05 am – ‘Truth in Broadcasting Award’ – Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore
12:15 am – Slowing Down the US Economy to Please AlGore – William Jefferson Clinton
12:25 am – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

12:30 am – Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
12:45 am – Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi
12:50 am – Speech and toast by Hugo Chavez to the departure of ‘the Great Satan,’ George W. Bush
12:50 am – Hillary proposes a toast to our 89 million new Democratic Mexican voters
1:00 am – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast to the extinction of the Republican party.

1:05 am – Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton
1:30 am – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
1:35 am – Bill Clinton asks Ted to drive Hillary home